They told me to go away.
I pleaded, begged, and beseeched the man behind the door to let me see Dr. Domingo de Guzman. The pity strategy doesn’t work for them, I guess.
Even after standing there for twenty minutes, nothing happened. I didn’t want to stop here so that I can pass my final test. And just as I was about to leave and rethink my strategy, the door slightly opens. I hide behind an old Toyotomi coupe that looks like it has been used too much. A hubcap comes off as I clumsily conceal myself.
“Hello?” a voice with a foreign accent speaks. “It is I, Domingo Doctor, yes.”
I take a peek and see that it is a young man who looks like he is either from Koguryeo or Simchuan. Did they just get a foreign actor to play a vampire? He doesn’t even have any fangs or make-up! Maybe my idea about vampires is wrong.
“No need worry, come out. We talk!” the young man who calls himself Dr. Domingo calls out. “Because it is I, Domingo Doctor.”
“Are you really Dr. Domingo?” I emerge from hiding, still unsure if I have the right address and look at my note again.
“Yes, yes I am. It is I, Domingo Doctor.” the young man replies and beckons me to follow him. “Come with me to front, we talk there.”
I cautiously follow the Doctor to the front of the building. Is this man really branded by the Guild as a vampire? He doesn’t even look like the type. I guess you can’t judge a book by its cover; a friend of mine is a dentist and dresses like a gaudy pop star.
“Your name of calling, what is?” the Doctor seems to be asking for my name.
“Teresita Vivas.” I reply. “But everyone calls me Sita.”
“Ah, very nice to meet you, Seater!” he pronounces my name with his unique accent. “So, are you from here around?” the Doctor asks me. “Very late night. Why come?”
“Oh, I just wanted to have a chat.” I reply and recall the questions I’ve prepared before coming. “Have you heard of the disappearances happening in this part of town lately?”
After asking that question, it felt as if something was following me from nearby. I look behind for a bit and see nothing.
It must have been my imagination. Weird things really do happen in this part of Newcrest. The Doctor then tells me something as I hear the clucking of a chicken from somewhere.
“Not much listen about the dish appearances. New TV show? Love TV show here in Newcrest. The TV show, I very much like, yes!” He must have misunderstood what I said.
“No, you must have misheard me, Doctor. Disappearances, like has anyone in town been missing lately?” I ask again as I try to be as patient as possible.
“Oh! Anyone in town, been very late, yes! Miss many promises!” the Doctor replies, but I feel like he didn’t understand my question at all.
“Can you even understand me, Doctor?”
“Yes, can speak Simlish. Yes.”
I started massaging the right part of my head as I tried to understand the Doctor’s Simlish. This is one tough language barrier to overcome. I should have brought a Koguryeon or a Simchuanese phrasebook to be able to communicate better. Maybe I should consider getting a foreign language class in either language once all of this is over.
We arrive at the entrance of the compound, and it seems that he is trying to lead me away from something. This was getting a bit too suspicious. Whenever I try to get back into the compound, he blocks my way. The Doctor continues talking to me.
“Are you really a doctor? You look a bit too young to be one.” I ask again.
“Yes! Yes, real doctor, I am. Just not look the kind but wait and see the appearance of the me.” he says with enthusiasm.
“What?” this is getting nowhere. What he said didn’t even make sense! Even if I am trying to be patient, I am already at my limit.
“Just I said, yes. If affirmation say, how can we?” the Doctor replies again in gibberish. That’s it.
“I’m really sorry, Doctor, but I can’t fully understand what you’re saying!” I finally snap at him and think that it was a bad move.
“Sorry, my Simlish, it is not good.” he slightly bows. “Please be of patience with Domingo Doctor.” The Guild should really get better actors for their tests.
I wanted to bail at this point. Was the real test here to find out if the Doctor is a vampire or get past the damn language barrier? Whoever thought of this test must be a friggin genius! But then I remembered that I still want to be an honorary member of the Guild. Grandma used to tell me, “When the going gets tough, make the going soft.”
I start to think of other questions, but then I hear a loud commotion from behind the black pickup truck with two flat tires. The Doctor and I look to see where it was coming from.
“YOU!” a pale-skinned man dressed in formal wear shouts at someone whom I did not expect to be here. What the heck is he doing here? I thought that I was supposed to go on this mission alone.
“This is the second time, worm. How did you get past my wards, guildspawn?” the pale-skinned man utters the last word with disgust.
“Well, howdy. Lovely place you got here!” my neatly-dressed superior greets the pale-skinned man with a smile.
“Pastor Westfall, head of the Church of the Lovely Llama Saint, and current Vampire Hunters Guild Leader. I just came for some friendly chit-chat with ya.” he says amicably as I notice a few members from the Guild appear around the compound.
If Pastor Westfall himself is here, there must be something bad.